Monday, July 27, 2009

Welcoming Arthur Haypenny: Time Traveler, Blogger, Gentleman

Dear friends, please join me in welcoming to our century the esteemed Sir Arthur Haypenny III. He is a time traveler of no small renown, and is presently the only remaining subject of Her Majesty, the late Queen Victoria.

Sir Haypenny has traveled all the way from his native 19th century for no other reason than to assist me in reviewing movies (apparently he has traveled far into the future and discovered that this blog is somehow tied into our survival as a race, or something. It became increasingly difficult, past a certain point, to pay attention to his story).

In the short time he has been here, Arthur has already begun to assimilate to our futuristic way of life. He has taken residence on my couch, and has become quite familiar with the TV (he calls it the witch box), and ordering pizza on the telephone (he calls it the witch-talker). Other than screaming at the toaster, he’s a regular 21st century man... other than the fact he’s come from the past to save the future through a somewhat convoluted and questionable means.

Nevertheless, I'm certain that his 19th century commentary on the movies of today will provide us insight into our own lives, and blah blah blah.

Welcome Arthur.


Sir Arthur Haypenny III said...

Thank you, my good man. I indeed look forward to helping you update on your Witch Machine. As you well know - the fate of the human race, and the British Empire and all that.


Speaking of which, you are out of cheerios. And toilet paper. And also beer.

Andrew Chen said...

Does this involve Norm Macdonald?

Tom Thayer said...

Norm Macdonald is yet to show his face in this. Arthur claims he isn't able to take other people with him when he time travels. At least that's what he told his family. But they'd be dead many years by now anyway.