Where the Wild Things Are

Dir: Spike Jonze
Starring: Max Records

This movie was completely unrealistic. Giant talking beasts walking around, and talking? Are we supposed to believe that this actually happened? It's just silly to believe in talking beasts and magical lands. It's time for everyone to just grow up, and learn how to function in the real world.

We, as a culture, have to move on from these ridiculous fantasies. Whatever make-believe worlds we thought we saw when we were kids were obviously just a result of all those stupid cartoons we were watching, and eating too much chocolate. All the doctors agree that too much sweets, coupled with an overactive imagination can induce vivid, realistic dreams that can be difficult for a ten year old boy to distinguish from reality. But by simply eliminating the cartoons, cutting back on the chocolate, and adding years of psychotherapy, the child can be readjusted for society.

Even if the boy still sees these make-believe creatures when he gets a little older, and he's definitely not sleeping, and the creatures talk to him, and ask him to join them in their merry dances and reveries, he will know better than to do so, because he's been told over and over again that these are just illusions invented by his overactive mind, and he should take a couple of the pills and go for a walk outside or something.

The boy, now a grown man, has been monster-free for several years now, and is finally becoming used to seeing the world as other people must see it, when what should come along but a freaking movie featuring the exact sorts of creatures he'd been seeing throughout his childhood.

Honestly, what are we supposed to think about this movie?


2 out of 5 stars.

Monsters vs. Aliens

Monsters vs. Aliens

Dir: Rob Letterman, Conrad Vernon

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie

Runtime: 1 hr 34 mins

In a veritable who's who of established and upcoming Hollywood stars and starlets, Monsters versus Aliens is a non-stop thrill ride, so buckle those seat belts (a quick warning to parents: this movie will transform your kids into monsters).

The aliens are battling the monsters to determine the fate of humanity. Imagine Independence Day meets Monster's Inc. meets Alien meets Weekend at Bernie's. Picture what would happen if you combined those movies, and then you have Monsters vs. Aliens. Except it's a lot less like those other movies, and more like Weekend at Bernie's.

The monsters have to trick the aliens into believing that their boss is alive. The fate of the world depends on the aliens believing this ruse, so it's really important that they pull this off. They keep moving the body around, and getting into all kind of hilarious situations. They almost get caught so many times, but at the last moment they somehow manage to pull it off with the aliens none the wiser.

4 out of 5 stars